GPS With a Damn Personality.
Get real navigation with sarcastic commentary, blue-collar humor, premium voice personalities, and optional Unfiltered Mode. Turn-by-turn directions that don’t put you to sleep at 5 a.m.
Free to start · Profanity is off by default · You control the attitude
Built for people who actually drive for a living
Turn Left. Laugh. Keep Moving.
Three steps. No manual. You already know how to use a GPS — this one just talks back.
Pick Your Destination
Search for where you need to go. Jobsite, supply house, customer, home. Same as every navigation app you’ve ever used.
Pick Your Personality
Choose how much attitude you want from your navigator — from strictly professional to fully unfiltered. Swap any time.
Drive
Get real navigation with humor, commentary, and optional profanity layered on top. Directions stay first. Jokes ride shotgun.
Pick Your Poison.
Most apps hand you one route and dare you to argue. SwearGPS lays out your choices with the distance, the arrival time, and an honest opinion attached to each one.
- Fastest — the straight shot, when you’re already late.
- No-toll — keep your quarters. Set it once and it sticks.
- The long way — back roads, when you’d rather drive than arrive.
Avoid tolls and avoid highways are switches in settings, so your preference carries across every trip.
Four Tabs. No Clutter.
Drive, Alerts, Voices, Garage. That’s the whole thing — built to be used with your thumb, at a red light, in work gloves.
Your spots, one tap away
Home, the yard, the gym, wherever. Every saved spot shows the drive time before you tap it — and your navigator is already running his mouth.
Pick your poison
Fastest, no-toll, or the scenic waste of ten minutes. Every option shows distance, arrival time, and exactly what your navigator thinks of it.
What everyone else is hitting
Crashes, potholes, cops, cameras, hazards. Drivers vote Still there or Not there, so stale reports die on their own.
Hear them before you buy them
Every personality has a preview button. Tap it, listen, decide. Pro voices stay locked until you unlock them — but the samples are free.
Your lifetime damage report
Drives, minutes, miles — plus lines heard, insult rate, and roasts per mile. Yes, the app keeps score of how much it has insulted you.
Every switch is yours
Avoid tolls. Avoid highways. Turn Roast mode up, or hit Mute the mouth for turn-by-turn only. Night shift and day shift for the eyes.
You Set the Attitude Level.
Same route. Same turn. Three completely different co-pilots.
Clean and straightforward
Standard navigation with no jokes, no commentary, no edge. Perfect when the boss, a customer, or your kid is in the truck.
Sarcastic, but clean enough
Jobsite humor and dry sarcasm without heavy profanity. The default flavor of SwearGPS, and the one most people never turn off.
Adult language, full send
Grown-up vocabulary and full blue-collar sarcasm for drivers who want it. Available in SwearGPS Pro.
Unfiltered Mode is optional and disabled by default. Nobody hears a single curse word unless they deliberately turn it on. You control your own experience — and you can dial the humor down or shut it off entirely at any time.
Navigation That Talks Like Your Crew.
Real navigation underneath. Completely different rider up front.
Vinny the Foreman
Free“The road ain’t gonna pave itself.”
Blue-collar attitude, jobsite energy, and zero patience for wasted time.
Sully the Cabbie
Pro“I know a shortcut. You won’t like it.”
Boston attitude. Knows every shortcut. Hates every driver, including you.
Marge the Mechanic
Pro“That merge needs an alignment.”
Diagnoses your driving the same way she diagnoses a transmission.
Coach Ray
Pro“Fourth quarter, baby. Two more lights.”
Retired linebacker. Treats every commute like the fourth quarter.
More personalities coming soon. New voices get added to the roster over time — got one you want to hear? Tell us.
Missed a Turn? Prepare to Hear About It.
It still reroutes you. It’s just not going to pretend that didn’t happen.
Humorous commentary is randomized, so you won’t hear the same line twice in a row. Want more of it? Flip on Roast mode. Want none of it? Hit Mute the mouth and get turn-by-turn only — the app will call you a coward for it, and then shut up.
The Jokes Are the Bonus. The Directions Are the Job.
SwearGPS is built as a navigation app first. The personality layer sits on top of it — never in front of it.
Turn-by-turn routing
Search a destination, get a route, and follow spoken turn-by-turn guidance to it.
Automatic rerouting
Miss a turn and the route recalculates. You’ll get a new path — and probably a comment.
Saved destinations
Keep the places you hit every week — the yard, the supply house, home — one tap away.
Voice guidance
Spoken directions so your eyes stay on the road and your hands stay on the wheel.
Switchable personalities
Change your navigator on the fly. Professional for the client ride, Vinny for the drive home.
Humor controls
Dial commentary up, dial it down, or shut it off. Profanity has its own separate switch.
Community-Powered Road Awareness.
SwearGPS is designed to support road and community alerts where they’re available, so you find out about the mess ahead before you’re sitting in it.
Reports show who called them in, and every driver who passes can vote Still there or Not there — so the feed cleans itself up instead of pointing you at a pothole that got patched last month.
Alerts depend on community reports and available data sources. They are not guaranteed, not official, and not a substitute for paying attention to the road in front of you.
It Keeps Score. Of You.
Every drive gets logged, and so does every shot your navigator takes at you. The Garage tab is your running damage report — part driving log, part receipt for how much abuse you’ve absorbed.
Stats are yours alone. Nothing here is a leaderboard, and nothing gets sold. See the Privacy Policy.
Unlock the Damn Good Stuff 🤬
Start free forever. Upgrade when you want the whole crew in the truck.
SwearGPS Free
- Basic navigation
- Vinny the Foreman
- Professional Mode
- Blue Collar Mode
- Saved destinations
- Basic alerts
SwearGPS Pro
- Sully the Cabbie
- Marge the Mechanic
- Coach Ray
- Unfiltered Mode 🔞
- Premium personalities
- Advanced navigation features
- Extra personality modes
- Future Pro features as they ship
Pro is a recurring subscription that renews automatically until canceled. Pricing is shown before purchase and is managed through the app store where you subscribe. See Subscription Terms.
Funny, But Safety Comes First.
A joke is worth nothing if it costs you an exit — or worse. SwearGPS is built so the comedy never gets in the way of the driving.
- Critical navigation instructions are always prioritized over commentary.
- Humor is designed never to interfere with or delay a direction.
- Do not interact with the app while driving. Set your route before you move.
- SwearGPS does not encourage speeding, aggressive driving, or reckless behavior.
- Use voice interaction and hands-free operation wherever possible.
- Drivers remain fully responsible for obeying traffic laws, signage, and road conditions.
Your Location Gets You There. That’s It.
SwearGPS may use location data to provide navigation, routing, and related features. Here’s the short version — the full version is in the policy.
- Location is used to provide navigation functionality — routing, guidance, and related features.
- We do not sell user data.
- Permissions are only requested when they’re actually needed for a feature you’re using.
- You can review, grant, or revoke permissions at any time through your device settings.
- Payment information is processed through third-party platform and payment providers and is not stored directly by SwearGPS where applicable.
Questions, Answered Straight.
Does SwearGPS really curse?
Can I turn profanity off?
Is SwearGPS free?
What comes with Pro?
Does SwearGPS work like a normal GPS?
How do I cancel Pro?
Get There Without Being Bored to Death.
Your smart-ass co-worker riding shotgun — without the coffee breath. Free to start, profanity off by default.
Launching soon. Want to be told the second it’s live? Get on the list.