A Real Navigation App That Happens to Be Funny.
SwearGPS is built as a navigation tool first. Everything below is about getting you there — the personality layer just makes the drive tolerable.
Navigation
The stuff you’d expect from any GPS, because you should expect it.
Destination search
Look up an address, business, or saved place and start a route to it.
Turn-by-turn guidance
Clear spoken and on-screen instructions for every turn on the route.
Automatic rerouting
Blow past a turn and the app recalculates a new route to your destination.
Saved destinations
Pin the yard, the supply house, the shop, and home for one-tap routing.
Voice guidance
Spoken directions so you can keep your eyes up and your hands on the wheel.
Basic alerts
Road awareness notifications where community reports and data are available.
Route options
Choose between fastest, no-toll, and back-roads routes — each with distance, arrival time, and a blunt opinion attached.
Avoid tolls
Set it once in settings and every route skips the booths. “Keep your quarters, hero.”
Avoid highways
Back roads and mailbox dodging, for when you’d rather drive than merge.
Night shift & day shift
Switch the whole app between light and dark so a 5 a.m. start doesn’t blind you.
Voice previews
Play a sample of any personality before you unlock it — including the Pro voices.
Personality
The part nobody else does.
Switchable navigators
Change who is riding shotgun without ending your route. Professional for the client ride, Vinny for the ride home.
Randomized commentary
Lines are pulled at random so the same missed turn doesn’t produce the same joke every time.
Roast mode
Flip it on for extra commentary on your driving. Flip it off and the app tones itself down.
Mute the mouth
Turn-by-turn only, no jokes. The app calls it “the coward setting,” then respects it completely.
Separate profanity switch
Profanity is its own control, independent of humor level, and it is off until you turn it on.
Three attitude modes
Professional, Blue Collar, and Unfiltered. Same route, three very different co-pilots.
Growing voice roster
New personalities get added over time. Pro subscribers get access as they ship.
Four Tabs. That’s the Whole App.
Built to be used with your thumb, at a red light, in work gloves.
Your spots, one tap away
Saved destinations with drive times, address search, and your navigator ready before you pull out.
Your lifetime damage report
Drives, minutes, miles this week — plus lines heard, insult rate, and roasts per mile.
Pick your poison
Fastest, no-toll, or the long way — with distance, arrival time, and an opinion on each.
Every switch is yours
Tolls, highways, Roast mode, Mute the mouth, and night or day shift.
Drive
Search a destination or hit a saved spot and go.
Alerts
Community road reports, filterable by type, with confirm and deny voting.
Voices
Pick your navigator and set how much attitude you want.
Garage
Your stats, your history, and every setting in one place.
Alerts, Where Supported.
SwearGPS is designed to support community-powered road alerts so you hear about the mess before you’re parked in it.
Reports show what was seen, roughly where, and who called it in. Every driver who passes can vote Still there or Not there, so the feed cleans itself up instead of pointing you at a pothole that got patched last month. Filter the list by type when you only care about one kind of mess.
Alert availability depends on community reports and available data sources in your area. Alerts are not guaranteed, not official, and not a substitute for your own attention to the road.
Funny, But Safety Comes First.
The comedy is a bonus feature. It never gets to outrank a direction.
- Critical navigation instructions are always prioritized over commentary.
- Humor is designed never to interfere with or delay a direction.
- Do not interact with the app while driving. Set your route before you move.
- SwearGPS does not encourage speeding, aggressive driving, or reckless behavior.
- Use voice interaction and hands-free operation wherever possible.
- Drivers remain fully responsible for obeying traffic laws, signage, and road conditions.
Your Smart-Ass Co-Worker, Riding Shotgun.
Free to start. Profanity off by default. Upgrade whenever you want the rest of the crew.